2010-08-19
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2010-08-13 * * Yo date, it's time to get up! Using our biological and technological distinctiveness for the profit of AGM, we once more manage to invest in the figurative vessels of the bizarre. The rebounding landscapes therefore stand endless before your very being, readers, and once in a ghostly while, perhaps you even follow us while we try to provide you with some instruments to explore the countless tho quite rare extrapolations of so-called Metal music. Lately we have received a few e-mails asking us whether this webzine should be taken seriously, or not. Well, might you feel confused by or uncertain with the content of AGM, that's the whole point, inasmuch as you are concerned. Where the Others find delight and meaning, the Priests of convention will search for senseless boredom and absurdism. That's the way it's always been, buddies, so this week is yet another new opportunity to get in better musical shape, so to speak. Lost in his own nostrils, aVoid is haunted by British ghosts of black metal past across the misty moors, finding himself by the shore of the EBONYLAKE. Last time Maxwell Rock went AKERCOCKE, he resisted for a few days before opening to the Antichrist in his Heart. From the Spanish dunes and AS THE LIGHT DIES, walks an enthusiastic and intrepid Adryuu, smiling at the cameras of the leopardian paparazzis. IT'S THE END of the day, and Thor Wanzek gives you a free ticket to the behind making of his work with the Norwegian band. Yo fate, it's time to set up! * *
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2010-08-05 As goes the ol' saying in French: Vieux updatum, sac à pomme et brie de vache, comme tu nous as manqué! Some of us have been away, hiding in the closet where we would unashamedly find new assets for inner rebirth and outer re-launch. Mission Impossible, or was it not? Reality speaks: while driving their way back from one of the largest massgrave black holes found in the Milky space, few members of the AGM space crew could actually still breath enough to carry even a single thought out of their heads. According to our official reports, there seemed to be no heads anymore, so to speak, but only bioplasmatic pulsing and your typical AGM feverish unsanity. Published this week are portals to what happened to these four brave gentlemen as they were catapulted back on to Earth, and these portals are written under the misguidingly exquisite (dis)guise of four reviews. * Deep from a forest of stars, Klearhos is screaming at the top of his lungs to us that we're just a bunch of, quote, Opportunistic Thieves Of Spring. * Might Holden now be in Japan? When we ask him whether he is, he can only sigh. He keeps saying he now wants to direct a new movie called Scenario IV: Dread Dreams. * Whenever he fuses his mind with these deranging pensées nocturnes, Adam McAuley then mimics the word Grotesque with his toes. * Now that he hangs out at the hip night club Les Discrets, Simon Brand can only think of one thing, and that's his new girlfriend's full name, Septembre et Ses Dernières Pensées. * Dear readers, have you heard the news? Not many people know about this, but it seems like some govern-mental Russian evolutionary psychiatrists, who have been following a large international group of multicultural & authentic metalheads in their day-to-day eco-systems, have recently diagnosed 88% of them with various epiphenomena of severe AGM-choly and AGM-phobia, while the remaining 12% showed clear evidence of AGM-phrenia and AGM-thropy. With the warmest of hearts, thank you for reading.
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2010-07-22 * Readers, are you ready for a quick fix of AGM? * Three writers, three reviews. * Simon Brand adopts a newcoming tantalizing band from France which he considers to be more than worth it - WAY TO END. * Marco Guerra Avitabile combines Italo Calvino's literary imagination with another hard-hitting band from France - TANTRUM. * Oliver Side manages to escape the pull of gravity with an American band who went beyond his brain waves - CLAIR CASSIS. * On behalf of AGM, Aleister Crowley himself wrote: "The joy of life consists in the exercise of one's energies, continual growth, constant change, the enjoyment of every new experience. To stop means simply to die. The eternal mistake of mankind is to set up an attainable ideal." *
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2010-07-14 An epic voyage of a AGM Wednesday at the heart of a G-type main sequence Star comprising about 99.8632% of the total mass of our Solar System. As the Sun only exists in a plasmatic state and is therefore not solid in itself, it rotates faster at its equator than at its poles, which means that the three (p)reviews presented today will shake your equatore more thoroughly than they will pump your pole. This could be fun, right! So much fun, actually, that we're welcoming a new space cadet to celebrate the occasion. His name is Maxwell Rock, and this week he loses his self in the middle of the sea, seeing and hearing nothing but HORN's distance. AGM welcomes you on board, submarine explorer! From his mental shooting studio, while smoking a cigar as large as his hairy fingers, Marco Guerra Avitabile enjoys a private blowjob, in the South of heaven, to feel again and again this FOG IN THE SHELL. And to complete today's update, Oliver Side is seen screaming his joie de vivre at some night-time waterslides where KKOAGULAA hides in the water for those who know it to feel its presence. In the name of the Sun, we AGM-ize you!
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2010-07-08 * * * With the summer's canicule at its highest degree of thickness and humidity, and while older people from all over the world are dying of breathing failures, the AGM crew hides in the unknown spots of chilling darkness, waiting for the appropriate moment to publish their mind-shattering spells. We've often heard the saying that summer is not Metal-related at all, but we're here to prove you otherwise: in fact, no one on Earth ever said that AGM doesn't fit with summertime. Quite the contrary, as extreme sun beams and experiMetal deliriums effortlessly go hand in hand whenever H2O is lacking. Try it at home if you're still unsure! For this quite unusual update, we welcome back from the dead, a long-time gone golf player eccentric, our dear Dr. Lignano! As to impress our readers, he/it goes back to 1995 with the post-nuclear intention to study the dead orchids of OPETH. With water up to his waist and numerous Loch Ness Monsters swimming around, Holden salutes the stars with an heliocentric review of THE OCEAN's last album. Driven by his mustache's unsane guidelines, our very own AGM movie director, Marco Guerra Avitabile tries to capture the perfect mood for AT THE SOUNDAWN. Traveling between the Id, the Ego and the Super-ego, post-disco countess Katja Honeywine dances her way, like an anatomic bomb, into JEKYLNHYDE. How sexy! Last weekend, when asked to draw up a genre that would promote its ideas, AGM laughed and answered to the crowd: "Metalheads like their masters to stay put, whereas I should think anyone a fool who wanted AGM to say the same thing tomorrow as I said yesterday. If you really want to be my follower, look into musick for yourself and tell the world honestly what you see." * * *
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2010-07-01 Who might be ready for another huge update? Who could ever bear it? We think you are! We think you do! So here we come your way, once more, with another lesson in unknowable Metal & all. There is no better way to start an update than with an interview. David knows that very well and consequently brings another great in-depth interview on the table, with one of the few AGM bands from Israel - ORPHANED LAND. Come find out about these warriors of light! We could say this is getting close to a tradition - this week, a new Hungarian writer, who goes under the name of Holden, salutes his readers with a review of the dreamy Sequenzen Einer Wanderung, by NOCTE OBDUCTA. Welcome to the space crew! In his quest for the most eerie and emotional band in town, Simon Brand goes to France and comes back with ALCEST's moon scales, which is quite an accomplishment in itself. Sitting under the Spanish sun, someone we hadn't heard of in a great while, Adryuu, finds peace in the Beyond zone with ELUVIUM's pianos and beauty. And finally, Marco Guerra Avitabile, who's been crying all week long as if it was his final storm so to speak, suggests a great album to cry to - by KHOMA. So if this week you don't really know what to do of your free time, this update pretty much wraps it up!
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2010-06-25 While the black gold gods are still destroying centuries of natural equilibrium, by the way only for the money involved, we AGM people have sailed into ourselves en route to higher standards. Our batteries, so to speak, have never fired as much energy as they do nowadays. We basically ignite sparkles everywhere on Earth just by looking into the wind, the breath, the musick and the unknown. We really hope that with the last few updates, we have picked up where our AGM momentum had left us. Join us on our quest to explore reality without shame and beyond fear. For this week, another new writer comes in and his terrestrial name is Matthew Kinne. If you look closely enough at Mr. Kinne's picture, you will soon notice that he has the unique power to deodorize farts. We wish him the best of smell, as he introduces himself with a review of YOGA's Megafauna. Hey metal.de, long time no see! Falk comes back from the grave and offers us a translated review of the highly psychedelic Metal band, SEMEN DATURA. Read it at your own risk! More imaginative than ever, cinematic reviewer Marco Guerra Avitabile goes for one of the few border-pushing Metal bands from the States, namely NACHTMYSTIUM, actually molding his own Lynchian scenario on their addictive black meddle. And at last but not least, in between his experiments with Jodorowsky's psychomagic and Gurdjieff movements, and assisted by a proud sun & moon descendant of Aleister Crowley, Oliver Side examines CHROME HOOF's otherwordly funkiness. This is one hell of a weekly update, isn't it!
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2010-06-17 This week's update can get, under some guidance, both musical and astrological, or the other way around, depending on your system of beliefs. From afar, a spaceship is descending towards you, readers, with three spacemen on board. Remember number three. As it happens, the AGM tempo grows larger with time but in space, only to loosen its extra-atmospheric conflagrations. Remember number three. Up and sound, free and high, wide and far, the AGM tempo pushes the envelope of life and death. Soon a door opens - is it in the spaceship, or both in your mind and your heart? We are not sure. But in the AGM room's first corner, stands Techno-Buddhist David in the Bhuja Vrischikasana position, literally stinging his reviewing spirit into NAGELFAR's Hünengrab Im Herbst. In the AGM room's second corner, stands musical pro-evolutionist Thor Wanzek in the Yoganidrasana position, which obviously has given him a much deeper view into KAILASH's new album, Past Changing Fast. And in the AGM room's third corner, stands blue-eyed romantic sociopath Simon Brand in the Bhujangasana position, once more showing his love for the ladies ultimately by reviewing one of his favorite bands now re-making their well-known past with CYNIC's Re-Traced. Question: which geometrical figure is made of three corners? The triangle, of course. Now think about it: AGM is the Cosmick Triangle of Musick - and we just demonstrated this very simple fact with today's written triptych. Oh, the spaceship is leaving us behind already, and so is the AGM tempo... until next time, friends and foes!
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2010-06-10 Oh la la! What a week it was! How did we survive to this, we have no idea. We want to say thank you to everyone who actually sent us their applications for the job - this was greatly appreciated. As usual, we had to make a choice and not one, not two, but three new writers have joined our cosmic asylum! They have been carefully selected and we believe that AGM will be most grateful to their otherwordly skills. Please say HELLO! to Mystery Flame, the European feminine explorer of clouds unknown to manhood; Marco Guerra Avitabile, the screaming cookie monster from ancient Pompei; and Klearhos, whose (un)clear Greek head is on par with the most post-bizarre acts out there. Welcome to the space crew! To celebrate our new era, we have one massive update. Mystery Flame, for one, lost her way between Pluto and Earth, where she nevertheless managed to interview NEGURA BUNGET, already a very popular band among our readers - so enjoy! Come find out for yourself but, apparently, Marco Guerra Avitabile enjoyed ROSETTA's own brand of metal for astronauts. While teaching us the Way of the Dead, Klearhos explored YAKUZA's own proggy-meth madness. And it wouldn't be an AGM update without any old-timer in, so Oliver Side further investigated into what Jazz can be, with an underground 4TET from his hometown, Pierre Labbé's own Manivelle. From now on, AGM-thing is possible...
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